Bless the Mess!
I mean this figuratively and literally. Start off with forgiving yourself for living an imperfect lifestyle. The boys won't always look perfect, especially after cutting their own hair, and neither will you. You may have gained weight after having kids or you may not have time to go shopping for yourself. Your house may be messy and in disarray because you don't have the energy or concern to clean it. Perhaps you have a judgey sister (I love you Sarah), who takes a deep breath every time she gets in your car and doesn't exhale until she gets out. Maybe your kids have temper tantrums in the middle of Target and people look at you as if you have been lighting their little toes on fire. These things may make you feel crazy and out of control and guilty. I guess what I've learned so far is, so what? Somewhere along the way I read a great bit of parenting advice. Think of life as a series of seasons. This part of raising boys isn't your season, it's theirs. Yours will come back around, just like mother nature's do. You will have a clean house again someday (if that's your thing), you will be able to shop and hit the town on a whim, your car will be crumb free (again if that's your thing), and your kids will stop screaming in stores (mostly because they will be pretending not to be with you unless they want money). Try to learn to bless the mess and accept that things are going to go wrong, a lot.
Buy Memberships to All of the Places (or Utilize Free Places Near You)!
My oldest and middle are 13 months apart and my middle and youngest are 22 months apart. I stayed home with them. Staying home didn't actually work for me. Not only was I bored and going insane but my kids had began to recognize the Law and Order da dunk sound. I bought memberships to almost everywhere that had them. I am from metro Detroit and got memberships to the Detroit Zoo, Legoland Discovery Center, Cranbrook Science Museum, Detroit Science Museum, The Henry Ford, and all the Metro Parks. A lot of these memberships are tax deductible too. The other places we often went were of little to no charge. Your local library is a great place to start. My kids loved the mom and me classes when they were little and as they got older they enjoyed special events like movies and magic shows. I had fun making a game of trying every playground within a 30 mile radius. If you're not afraid of cooties, (I feel no shame and my kids are fairly normal) then find any malls or restaurants near you that have play areas. One of my fondest memories is of my oldest heading through a giant soda cup, crawling out of his pants, and coming out the other side in just his diaper. Keep an eye out for parades and fun events happening you. I'm not talking fairs with $80 rides, more like a small town ice sculptures in front of stores type happening. Loading up on places to go will give your boys an outlet for their energy and you an inlet for sanity.
Get That Mini Van!
I have never met a lady with no kids driving a mini van (unless it was a hand me down from the folks). I wasn't thrilled about the prospect of it either. Once my third was incubating we realized our 5 seat cars weren't going to cut it anymore. There are a bunch of 7 seaters to choose from but I couldn't overlook the benefits of the old stand by, the mini van, aka, mom mobile. I had been struggling to get two boys into car seats in an elevated SUV with doors that I had to hold open with my bum. Toys and pacis that were thrown on the floor were always hard to reach. Small trunks were a tight squeeze for my monster double stroller. The mini van solved all those problems. The doors glide open at the press of a button while hands are full with a cart seat, diaper bag, and one or two children on a leash (don't judge, it's all about safety here). And stow and go!!! Forget about it! The seats can be configured into so many options and so easily. I have always gone with two in the back and one in the front. This way I have a bunch of space to get the kids in and out and put things like groceries within easy access to unload from the car. This set up also helps when the boys get older and one (there is always one) likes to antagonize the other two and needs his own special place. Now-a-days mini vans have even more awesome details, built in video screens if you are so inclined, built in car starters, back up cameras and good lord, a built in vacuum. By the time you read this hopefully they will have a window in between the front and back seats that rolls up like in a limo or a pulley system so you can get snacks and toys to the kids in the way back without having to pull over. Also, as you read this my kids could be in college and I will still be rolling around town in a mini because I will never find a car as convenient as this again .
All Your Furniture Should Come From Ikea!
Jon and I got married and bought our first house together. I couldn't wait to decorate it with all the finest Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel had to offer. I also loved finding the perfect pieces at antique stores. My house started as a clean, uncluttered, organized den of serenity. Then I had my boys. With every sharpie mark, diecast train dent, broken vase, bin of toy clutter, baby vomit, poop smear, (Yes! Poop Smear!), my den of serenity became a house of broken dreams. My finally crafted design began to crumble and I had to buy replacements. Bring on Ikea. Basically, Ikea carries furniture that screams break me. From Ikea on I just smiled when my potty training boy decided to wipe his bum on my sofa as I slipped off the slip cover and threw it in the washing machine. The day I send the last boy off to college I am heading back to to Crate and Barrel with bells on.
Teach Your Boys to Sit on the Toilet to Pee!
I cannot stress this number one boy raising tip enough! This is a life saver! I quickly learned after living with my husband that cleaning a bathroom after male parts have used it is a whole new ballgame. Wouldn't you know I had three boys and a stepson, all with the same sort of male parts. Good grief, after the boys were potty trained the smell became unbearable. I tried every cleaner and method possible. I would find pee on the floor, in the bathtub, the walls and even the gosh darn mirror! The boys would go to the bathroom like the room was on fire and they had the hose to put it out. It was like a crime scene with urine. It finally dawned on me the most perfect and simple way to solve the problem. In my home all boys would sit to pee. It took a little time to train them but after that it came to them naturally. Now every time one of the boys sits down to pee I am reminded that even though I may fail at many things in life, I have come out victorious in one of the world's biggest bathroom battles.
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